fighting a cube π§
hello good morning π
it is the weekend and i'm not free. today i'm teaching my mom how to do a chain on crochet so we can make loops for pillow cases. i'm also gonna be crocheting for a fair, and i have this side project in which i'm making my own music player hosted on GitHub and i'm gonna hand draw the UI βοΈ
it's just really nice to be busy and be able to do all these things i actually want to fill my day with. not too long ago, before I got my meds, my functionality was like a 5% lmao
everything was so heavy. it was like every movement i ever made was from inside of a cube of molten glass, or thick jello- and i just had to push against the cube, and tbh most days i didn't have the HP for that.
the cube is no more. it has been not slain but moved away like 100 feet back, and i can see it but it's moving so slowly and i'm so fast now
πππ.........π§
it's wild to me the ease with which i can get outta bed now, and do things like crochet a chain loop with my mom, or wash my teapot, or fold my clothes. things that felt unsurmountable are now harmless, and it still amazes me after about half a year of meds that it really only does take less than five minutes to wash my teapot??? it felt before like it was going to take forever, or rather it felt like the accumulation of small menial tasks had turned into a sisyphean task i wasn't ready to touch. being awake in itself was painful and the only good-ish moment in my day was sleep.
is this ease what other people potentially feel? has everyone (not literally everyone but you get the feeling) been out of the cube while i've been living inside it all the time? cuz that's so bullshit. i didn't know things could be not easy, but normal. that shit didn't have to be an everyday fight.
i'm gonna enjoy the little things i've filled my day with, because the cube is still there but it's far, and the day it catches up with me - cuz it will - i will be rested and recharged, and ready. and i hope everyone has a cube-free life π±